Who Did the Morning Prayers?
by Languish-Dreams
Summary: One-Shot. Goku's boredom leads to amusement for everyone in the jeep. Well, everyone except Gojyo, that is. Rated for a touch of language. Complete.


_A/N: I'm sure this is something that's been done before, however, I just could not stop myself. The following is a slight variation on the famous skit of "Who's on First" by Abbott and Costello. If you've never heard it before, I highly recommend you head over to YouTube and find a video of it. Some jokes just never get old. ;) I followed a bit closer to the script than I wanted to, but damn if I didn't have a good time with it anyway. Review if you found it enjoyable. I truly just had a moment of writing out something I thought would be funny. *chuckle*_

**Who Did the Morning Prayers?  
**By Languish-Dreams

Goku yawned as he stretched out as much as he could in the back of the jeep. He was completely, utterly bored out of his mind. The group had been traveling for several days now without so much as a whiff of any action. Not only that, but they hadn't seen a town in just as long. Glancing across the seat, he could see Gojyo lighting up another cigarette. No doubt the red-haired roach was just as bored as he was. Goku had tried, on more than one occasion, to drive off a little bored by picking a fight with the older man; all that had earned him, however, was a vehement set of whacks to the head and a few shots in the air by Sanzo's banishing gun.

No, if he wanted to get under Gojyo's skin, he was going to have be a bit more crafty about it. A dull tendril of light began to worm it's way into Goku's head then - and by the time it formed into a full on light bulb, he was grinning from ear to ear. Oh, yes. He knew _exactly_ what he could do now. He just had to hope that Sanzo would catch on and play along. Otherwise, this wouldn't be nearly as satisfying. Dropping his over eager grin down a bit, he managed to look up towards the sky and release a chuckle.

"What's so funny, monkey?"

Goku forced himself not to full on laugh as Gojyo began to slowly drop into his trap.

"I'm not a monkey." he snapped. "I was just thinking about the monks back at the temple, is all."

A nearly silent rustle of fabric told Goku that he had Sanzo's attention now and, glancing down to the man he shared the backseat with, he could see he definitely had Gojyo's curiosity piqued.

"The monks?" Gojyo asked around his cigarette. "What the hell's so funny about them?"

"S'not really the monks." Goku replied with a wave of his hand. "It's their names."

The red-head's eyebrow lifted up in a gesture of full-on curiosity. "Why's that? What's their names?"

Goku chuckled, waving his hand again as if to shoo the conversation away.

"No, really." Gojyo said, flicking a bit of ash off his cigarette.

"I have to admit, Goku, that you have stirred my curiosity as well." Hakkai suddenly announced from the front of the jeep. "We rarely met with the monks at the temple. I'd be interested in hearing this as well."

Cracking one eye open, the brunet waited to see if Sanzo was going to interject anything into the conversation. When nothing was forthcoming, the teen sat up a bit straighter and smiled.

"Well, it's just that, being monks and all, they had some strange names." he started, trying to choose his words carefully.

"What, like funny strange?" Gojyo asked.

"Strange names." Goku answered. "Let me see, Who did morning prayers, What carried incense, I Don't Know cooked…"

"Wait, wait, wait." Gojyo interrupted. "I thought you were gonna tell us their names?"

"Hm?" The brunet looked over, schooling his features as best he could. "I am."

"You lived there for a long time."

"Yep."

"You met all the monks in the temple."

"Yep."

"So you know all their names."

"A-yup."

"Okay, so who did morning prayers?"

"Yes."

"I mean the guy's name."

"Who."

"The one who did morning prayers."

"Who."

"The monk that did prayers in the morning."

"Who."

"The guy that…"

"_Who_ did morning prayers."

"I'm asking _you_ who did it!"

"That's his name."

"That's who's name?"

"Yes."

"Well go ahead and tell me." Gojyo huffed.

"I just did."

"That's who?"

"Yup!" Goku piped happily.

Gojyo's eye twitched at the oblivious look on Goku's face. Flicking his dead cigarette over the side of the jeep, he immediately pulled another from his pack.

"Goku." Hakkai asked hesitantly. "You have a man that chants prayers in the morning?"

"Of course."

Hakkai paused. Something about this wasn't sitting quite right.

"Who chants morning prayers?"

"That's right."

"What's his name?" Hakkai asked.

"No, What carries incense."

"I'm not asking about the monk who carried incense, Goku." Hakkai said, his trademark smile wavering.

"Who did morning prayers." the brunet replied.

"One monk at a time!" Gojyo growled next to him.

"Well don't try to change them around!" Goku huffed.

"I'm not changing anyone." Hakkai stepped in. "We're simply asking who did the morning prayers."

"That's right."

"Okay." Hakkai said, deciding his patience may not survive this conversation.

They continued on in silence for a few minutes, Gojyo furiously working through his newly lit cigarette. It didn't take long, however, before…

"What's the name of the monk that did morning prayers?" Gojyo asked suddenly.

"No, What carried the incense."

"I'm not asking who did the incense." Gojyo said through clenched teeth.

"Who did morning prayers." Goku said, nearly having to hold his breath between answers to keep from laughing.

"I don't know." the red-head said, putting his head in his hand.

"He did cooking, we're not talking about him."

"How did we get to cooking?" Hakkai asked, unable to keep himself from the befuddling conversation behind him.

"Gojyo mentioned his name." Goku said quickly, before anyone could make a joke on his eating habits.

"If I mentioned his name, who did I said was the cook?"

"No, Who did the morning prayers."

"What did morning prayers?"

"What carried incense."

"I don't know."

"He cooked."

"Back on cooking again!" Gojyo cried pulling a third cigarette out of his pack

Goku wasn't quite sure he was going to make it to the end of this conversation, or really, if this conversation would ever _have_ a end the way Gojyo was going. He sure as hell wasn't bored anymore, that was for sure.

"Oi, Sanzo." Gojyo suddenly yelled. "Why don't you tell us these monks names?"

Goku nearly groaned. He should have know they'd get Sanzo in this eventually. Damn, and it was starting to get really funny watching the way Gojyo's face would twist and contort as he tried to hold back his anger.

"Let's stick with the cook." Gojyo said. "And not go off it."

There was a slight pause before Sanzo answered.

"Alright. What do you want to know?"

Goku had to reframe from groaning aloud again. Sanzo was going to destroy the wonderful game he had going and…

"Alright." Gojyo began. "Now, who was in the kitchen?"

"Why are you trying to put Who in the kitchen?" Sanzo asked lazily.

"What am I putting in the kitchen?" Gojyo asked, confused.

"What carried incense." the monk replied, matter of factly.

"You want who carrying incense?"

"Who did morning prayers." Sanzo said.

"I don't know."

"He cooked!" Goku and Hakkai cried at the same time.

Looking to the driver's seat, Goku saw Hakkai give him a slight wink and knowing smile. He should have figured the man would catch on to the joke long before Gojyo ever would. The fact that _Sanzo_ was playing along was almost too much to take, though.

"Alright." Gojyo said, gritting his teeth and turning back to Goku. "You got more monks in the temple, right?"

"Sure." the teen replied.

"The laundry guy's name?" Gojyo ventured.

"Why."

"Just thought I'd ask."

"And I just thought I'd tell ya." Goku replied.

"Alright. Then tell me who did laundry."

"Who did morning prayers."

"Wha - would you stay off the fucking morning prayers!" Gojyo yelled. "I wanna what's the name of the guy that did laundry!"

"No, what carried incense."

"I'm not asking about who did incense!"

"Who did morning prayers!"

"I don't _know_!"

"He cooked!" all four men cried out then.

Hakkai shook his head in utter amusement as he focused back on the road. Truly he'd have never thought that Goku would come up with something like this just to stave off a little boredom. But now that he had gotten the gist of the joke, Hakkai couldn't help but play along with it. Glancing over at the blond sitting in the seat next to his, he didn't miss the hint of a smirk that was resting on Sanzo's face. Apparently the monk was enjoying this just as much as the rest of them were.

Well, except for Gojyo that is.

"The laundry guy's name?" Gojyo asked, determined now to get answers if he had to kill them all in the process.

"Why." Goku replied.

"Because!" the red-head yelled, his temper barely in check.

"Oh, he did the shopping."

Gojyo pinched the bridge of his nose and counted to ten. He easily could have let this go when it first started, but now it was grating on his nerves. There had to be a way to get real answers out of this kid.

"Look, you got a monk that does the gardening?"

"Sure." Goku answered.

"'K. The gardener's name?"

"Tomorrow."

Gojyo blinked. "You don't want to tell me today?"

Goku gave him a confused look. "I'm telling you now."

"Well, go ahead then, monkey!"

"Tomorrow!" the teen spat out. "And I'm not a monkey!"

Gojyo sighed. "What time?"

"What time what?" Goku asked.

"What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who did the gardening?"

"Listen, Gojyo." Goku said, slowing his words as if talking to a child. "Who is not doing the gardening."

The red-head felt his eye starting to twitch. "I will break both your arms if you say who's doing morning prayers. I want to know what the gardener's name is!"

"What carried incense."

"I don't know." Gojyo muttered before he could stop himself.

"He cooked!" They all cried out again.

"Gotta a guy that takes care of the sake out there?" Gojyo asked warily.

"Sure."

"Alright. The sake guy's name?"

"Today."

"Today." Gojyo repeated. "And tomorrow's gardening."

"Now you've got it!" Goku said with a grin.

"Great. Buncha days at this temple." Gojyo muttered. "You know, I like sake."

Goku rolled his eyes. "So I've heard."

"I love that sake. So I head inside the temple with my sake, wave to tomorrow gardening and run into a new monk. So I gotta get this new monk down to morning prayers and all that shit. Being the good little monk I am, I take my sake and head down the hall to where morning prayers are and introduce him to the guy doing them which is who?"

"That's the first time you've said something right." Goku said with a large grin and a slap on Gojyo's back.

"I don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about!" Gojyo yelled in frustration.

Goku was nearly sweating with the strain of keeping his laughter in check at this point. He honestly hadn't thought that he'd be able to drag the joke out this far. Having Sanzo and Hakkai playing along with it was making it even harder to keep a straight face.

"That's all you have to do." Goku said after getting his need to laugh under control.

"Just take the guy to morning prayers."

"Yep!"

"Now who's got him?"

"Naturally!"

Gojyo could feel his eye starting to twitch again.

"Okay. So if I take a new monk to morning prayers, I'm gonna drop him off with the guy that's doing them. So, who has him?"

"Naturally." Goku said again.

"Who?"

"Naturally." the brunet repeated.

"Naturally?"

"Naturally."

Gojyo relaxed a little. Okay, he had this.

"So I drop him off at morning prayers and Naturally has him."

"No." Goku admonished. "You'd give the monk to Who."

"Naturally." Gojyo replied.

"You've give the monk to Who." Goku said again.

"Naturally."

"That's it."

"Okay."

"Alright." Gojyo growled out. "So I drop this monk off with Who and head out with my sake. I run into What on my way out and the incense makes me sneeze. I visit I Don't Know in the kitchen and end up with food on my shirt so I head out and wave to Tomorrow in the garden and I try to hunt down Because to get more shit in town to replace the food on my shirt. Only I can't find Because. Why? I Don't Know! He's cooking and I don't give a damn!"

"What?" Goku asked, merriment dancing in his eyes.

"I said I don't give a damn!"

"Oh, he did the cleaning."

There were a few brief seconds of silence before Hakkai slammed on the breaks. After recovering from the short stop, Gojyo became aware of the sounds of laughter. Looking around the jeep, he could see all three of his companions were now doubled over, unable to contain themselves any longer.

It took a few seconds before the conversation repeated itself somewhat and Gojyo could feel more than just his eye beginning to twitch.

"I….I'm going to have to kill you all." he growled out.

"Oh my fucking God!" Goku cried, tears streaming down his face as he clutched his aching sides. "I thought I was gonna…your face and…."

The rest was cut off by a long stream of laughter, which seemed to only fuel the two men doubled over in the front seat as well. Realizing he'd been completely and thoroughly played by all his traveling companions, Gojyo huffed in annoyance and lit up another cigarette.

"Bunch of fucking crazy ass idiots." he mumbled.

"You…you have to admit, Gojyo." Hakkai panted from the front seat, wiping the tears off his cheeks. "That it was a good one."

The red-head looked over at Goku, who was wiping his own cheeks and struggling to catch his breath, Gojyo could only shake his head and grin.

"I suppose." he said. "Who knew the little monkey had a brain after all!"

"Oooo, that was so…wait, what?" Goku flushed with familiar anger as he took in Gojyo's words. "Are you calling me stupid? And how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not a monkey damn it!"

Gojyo wrapped his arms around the teen's neck and proceed to give him a hard noogie to the head. "What's that little monkey? I can't hear you, your voice is all muffled!"

Grinning as he pulled the jeep back onto the road, Hakkai drowned out the usual arguments from the backseat. After a round of fan-whacking and shots to the sky, the group fell into a brief silence once again.

"So, Goku." Hakkai started, breaking the silence as he saw the familiar signs of a village coming into view. "Who did do the morning prayers?"

The teen grinned as he ignored a glare from Gojyo .

"Naturally."

**-(End)-**

_I hope you had a chuckle or two. Thank you for reading. :)_


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